I thought since it was February I would write about love. Our youngest son who is 25 and single ask us what was the secret to our long and happy marriage. I thought that was a pretty neat question coming from one of our children. That is why I titled this month's blog "Enduring Love"
One of the main reasons our marriage works so well is that neither of us are selfish and self-centered. It does not work well if one or both people are self-centered. We put the other person's needs above our own. We care so much for each other that we make it a priority to make each other's life the best that it can be. I do that for him and he does it for me. We share in a level of happiness that most people do not achieve because they are not willing to love anyone more than they love their self.
What I have found out in life and relationships is that if we are rude we get rude back. If we are kind we get kindness back. This exception would be, as I stated previously, when we are dealing with a self absorbed person. I find that it is fun to make people happy. I love to do things for my spouse, children or friends that makes them happy or makes their life easier. I do these things without expecting something in return and that is the key. If we do things expecting something in return, then we will at times, get disappointed and become disenchanted. We have to know in our heart that we did what was pleasing in God's sight and let him work through that opportunity. We should never base our happiness on people, they are human and they are fallible. We must derive our happiness from God. Putting God first in our life gives us the ability to be able to put others above ourselves. Being in God's word, the Bible, makes it easier to be kind and patient and ask for forgiveness when we make mistakes. Look at it this way, God is a positive force in our life and the world is mostly negative. We will become what we spend most of our time involved in. The Bible teaches us how to love and live an unselfish peaceful, happy life. The world say; "you are worth it, you are number one" so do it your way, have your fun, do your thing, (without regard to anyone else). So eyes wonder, hearts are untrue and innocent lives are shattered, all in the name of self fulfillment.
I think the other thing my husband and I do is to plan little get away days or weekends. They could even be camping or taking our bicycles to a bike path. Anything that we can have fun doing that changes up our day to day routine. That way we have something fun to look forward to and plan. We sometimes watch movies together or play games or have friends and family over. We always hug and tell each other, "I love you" everyday. We hold hands and laugh together. We listen to each other and seek the other's opinion. We don't assume anything. This is our lifetime mate; how we treat them will affect our life for many years to come, so why wouldn't we make it the best it could possibly be.
There are two Bible verses that come to mind as I am writing about love. They are the secret to a marriage or any relationship you make. I don't know about you, but I would rather be with my spouse, children, friends, and other family members than all by my self for the rest of my life. I think loving yourself to the point of being selfish is a recipe for loneliness.
Luke 6:30 Do to others as you would have them do to you. (NIV)
I Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (NIV)
I have always said, marriage can be the best thing or the worst thing that happens to you so choose your spouse wisely with open eyes and God's leading. It is like the old saying; "if you want a good friend you have to be a good friend." I have observed that if you want a good spouse you have to be a good spouse. Please know if your marriage is not perfect God is the heart and life changer. Give it all to him in prayer and do your part.
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God Bless,, Have A Happy Valentines Day
Who is Sally? I have been very happily married for 31 years and we have four grown children and 7 grandchildren.