Holiday Joy and Sadness

I love the holidays, I do, but they are filled with good times as well as memories of those that have passed.  How do we get past the sadness to be able to embrace the joy?

Holidays can be difficult for some because a lot of the joy they experienced was wrapped up in the loved ones that are no longer with them. These were the very people who helped create those wonderful memories. Memories are two-sided.  They can be wonderful, but they can also leave a deep pain in our heart because we know those people will never be here again and things will never be the same.  The longing for what used to be, as I well know, is very hard on a person.  For me there came a time several months after my husband’s passing, where I just wanted to feel better.  The only way I knew how to do that was to choose to change my focus (look to the future instead of dwelling only on the past), and begin to let go of the intense pain as I asked God to mend my broken heart.  

For those who have recently lost a loved one, you cannot skip over the steps of grief because it takes time to heal and process.  You just have to get through those first few holidays the best you can with God’s help.  I have found that with each passing year it does get easier if you let yourself fully accept your new reality.

Here are a few suggestions that have helped me, maybe you can find something in this that will help you as well.

1. Focus on the living-enjoy the family you have now, do not take them for granted. Thank God for them every day.
2. Have many conversations with God about how you feel, how overwhelmed you are, how mad you are about your situation and every other emotion you feel. He can handle it. Ask the Lord to help you with your grief and ask Him to give you a heart of joy. I don’t know that it’s always good to share everything with others. It’s often best to keep some things just between you and God. 
3. Be thankful. This is very helpful.  Even in sadness I regularly thanked God for my husband and the many wonderful memories we made together.  A grateful heart seemed to help me smile more than cry.
4. Plan to do things with family and friends. They may be too busy to think to call.  I remember how busy I was raising a family and working.  So be the initiator and talk to them and then you can plan things to do together.
5. Go to church and be with other believers and worship together.
6. Music is wonderful, it lifts my spirits and makes my heart feel joyful. My daughter gave me a blue tooth speaker one year for Christmas and I use it every day with the music I have or can get on my cell phone.  Praise music, fun music and Christmas music pushes away darkness and negativity.  Also, fast music motivates me to clean my house easier and faster! For real!
7. Write list of things to do to occupy your time. There is great satisfaction in crossing things off and getting things done.   Keeping busy helps quite a bit.
8. Know that your loved one would want you to be happy. When you can, take steps to reintroduce yourself to enjoyable experiences and fun hobbies. Do something good for yourself.
9. Plan to do things for others, Christmas cards to shut-in’s or prison ministry, presents or meals for those in need, etc. Serving others takes your mind off yourself.
10. Learn to relax and enjoy the moment you are in. Getting too busy and overstressed is not a good thing either, balance is always key.

Balance is very important. The right amount of time with God, and all the other things I listed above, can help you get through the holidays and all other times of the year.  Remember you are not alone; every single person loses someone they care about at one time or another.  Take time to consider the meaning of each Holiday and say a little prayer for all those with pain in their hearts and smiles on their faces trying to get through their own season of joy and sadness.

Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Proverbs 14:13 Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief.

Prayer

Lord your word says in Psalm 30:5b, Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.  May our nights go by swiftly and the morning of your presence and joy come flowing in through the window of our souls like the sun to fill our hearts.  Help us remember our memories with thankfulness. May we truly embrace the meaning of Christmas and may it bring us a renewed hope for a bright future.  Thank you, Lord, in Jesus’ name, amen.

God Bless,

Sincerely,

Sally